


we’ll wish this never ends

by kiriya



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Ferris Wheel Sex, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Kamen Sentai GoRider - Freeform, M/M, Oral Sex, Praise Kink, Size Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 11:22:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18030785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiriya/pseuds/kiriya
Summary: the game world gives kiriya and emu a chance to catch up.





	we’ll wish this never ends

Emu isn’t quite sure what to expect when Kiriya asks him for some alone time. Everyone except Kenzaki, it seems, is still suspicious of him and it wasn’t too long ago they all attacked him. Their poor faith was frustrating, but nothing Emu hasn’t handled before. It wasn’t long ago Kiriya too had refused to work with him, and eventually, Emu even got Taiga and Hiiro to put aside their baggage and work as a proper team of doctors.

Emu’s just grateful to be outside now, breathing air that’s friendly and familiar. Emu doesn’t know what he’d do, without Kiriya, but that thought in it of itself is painful.

“So, Emu,” Kiriya says, when the ferris wheel stops at the peak of its rotation and they’re finally alone. Kiriya has his arm slung around the back of the seat, around Emu’s shoulders. It’s a familiar, warm weight against Emu’s back. A small thing he missed in a huge way. Kiriya grins, and even that is startling to Emu in the forgotten detail. “How are you?”

Emu laughs, but it’s half-hearted. Short and self-deprecating. He wonders if the question is just Kiriya’s curious nature, or if stress has been looming over him, dark and obvious like a gloomy black cloud.

Kiriya has his glasses on. Emu tilts his head towards the sky and the sun is high, like it always is, no matter how much time passes. But Emu can’t feel its heat on his face, and it doesn’t warm the bright metal seat beneath them like it should. Doesn’t even feel cold, even though the tiny ground beneath them is covered in snow. The juxtaposition is eerie, like the silence that comes in the amusement park in place of a crowd. From their vantage point, Emu can the see the foggy line of horizon they’ll never be able to reach, where the ocean meets the milky sky.

“You’ve missed a lot,” Emu informs him. There’s a fondness to his wary tone, in the unspoken _I missed you a lot, too_. “Do you want an honest answer?”

“It’s the best policy, yeah?”

Emu laughs again, but it’s warmer, this time. He nails Kiriya with a skeptical look. “Since when?”

“Since you.”

Emu can’t read Kiriya’s expression behind the glasses, but he looks away, anyway. He tries not to let the words affect him, tries not to think about how it felt like they were right on the beginning of something, before it ended so abruptly, but Emu fails. It makes cracks in Emu’s chest, letting emotions leak through that he clogged up with all the pressure he’s under. Emu curls his fingers over his chest where it aches, a habit as old as the virus inside him.

“I’m scared,” Emu confesses. “And stressed. And tired, even though I know I can’t afford to be. It’s just so much, all the time. Without you… I’ve missed you so much. I’ve been so worried I’m gonna let you down, or that– so much has gone wrong. I’m worried… I won’t be good enough, in the end.”

It’s a nightmare, Emu could summarize it as. A nightmare, with death and lasting repercussions that make it so it will never be as simple as just waking up. And Emu’s so, so tired already. And lonely.

“Hey,” Kiriya squeezes his shoulder. Emu’s eyes have gone glassy without him realizing it, and he blinks the tears out of his eyes to look at Kiriya properly. Commit all the curves of his face to inside of his skull, before it fades from memory again. “You’re gonna mistakes. People are gonna die. That’s part of being a doctor, but that doesn’t mean you’re not good. And you’re not going to disappoint me. I put my faith in you for a reason, you know... I feel kinda bad now. It wasn’t my intention to put so much pressure on you.”

Emu shakes his head. Wipes his eyes once more for good measure. “Sorry. It’s not that. You don’t know how many times knowing you believed in me has helped me. I…  I really do miss you, Kiriya-san,” Emu averts his eyes, feeling shy with the sincerity of his upcoming admission. “It’s silly, but. I always keep your words in my heart.”

“Hey,” Kiriya says. Its urging makes Emu look back up at him. “You believed in me, so it’s only fair I return the feeling. You made me want to be a better person. Didn’t think I’d get that feeling. Ever.” There’s a pause, where Kiriya keeps this seldom serious demeanor, until a grin creeps back onto his face. “Though it’s hard to imagine you missed me, with charmers like Kagami and Hanaya around.”

“Hiiro-san… cares, in his own way, but it’d be easier, if you were...” Emu feels stupid, skirting around it, but the words _still alive_ still seem too blunt, so he drops the sentence entirely. He’s a doctor. Emu should be better at dealing with death, but Emu has been finding he has more and more shortcomings as a medical professional, lately. “And Taiga-san…”

“Is a real piece of work. Like Banana Boy.”

“Yeah,” Emu sighs, but after a moment, smiles. Weary but wry. “Maybe not _quite_ as bad.”

Kiriya snorts. Then, a silence falls between them. Something heavy clings in the air — Grief? Hopelessness? All his exhaustion and all the time denied them? — until Kiriya takes his glasses off, tucks them into the collar of his shirt, and moves his hand from around Emu’s shoulder to the back of his neck.

“Come here, Emu.”

Emu follows the weight and collapses against Kiriya’s shoulder. Kiriya wraps Emu in a gentle hug, and Emu’s hands find Kiriya’s waist under his jacket, savoring the feeling of the warm skin through his shirt. It’s been a long time — since before his internship — that Emu’s been touched liked this. And there was no one he could ask, no matter how much he needed it. Certainly not Hiiro or Taiga, who never seem to get tired of needing to be the strongest. Asuna, maybe, but their relationship was still professional, mostly.

Time passes. If the others have tried looking for them, they haven’t found them. Kiriya runs his fingers through Emu’s hair, and Emu listens to the sound of Kiriya’s breathing, a steady, soothing metronome. The sun doesn’t sink in the horizon like it should. It would better if it did, Emu thinks. It would be nice, to sit here with Kiriya at sunset and look at his handsome features in soft golden light. But things rarely go the way Emu wants them to anymore and that extends to the non-starter that is — was — his relationship with Kiriya.

“Can I ask you something?” Emu murmurs, lifting his head slightly. He misses the weight of Kiriya’s shoulder against his cheek as soon as it’s gone, but Emu makes sure to sound serious when he says, “And you have to answer honestly.”

“Shoot.”

“Is there... Anything you regret?”

“Nah,” Kiriya replies, without even taking a moment to think about it. Even without the bold shadows of golden hour, with the way the light hits his cheeks, Kiriya looks handsome. “No point of looking back, in my opinion. Life doesn’t have a reverse gear, you can only hope it gets better by moving forward.” Kiriya spares Emu a glance, then looks away. Emu thinks about that, and Kiriya’s right. There’s nothing he can do to change anything between them. Just live up to Kiriya’s expectations. “Maybe just one regret…”

“Kiriya-san…,” Emu murmurs. Quiet and longing.

“Kiriya,” he insists. “I know we didn’t get a chance to know each other like we would have liked, but. We’ve been through a lot already, huh?” He grins, despite everything, showing off cute dimples and bright white teeth.

“Yeah,” Emu mutters. “Kiriya?”

“Mm?”

Emu drags his teeth over his bottom lip. The question almost gets caught in this throat, makes it feel clogged and tight, but he preserveres anyway, eyes on Kiriya’s pink lips. “Would you mind if… I kissed you?”

It might be a pointless question. Even a pointless action. Any chance for romance died when Kiriya did. There was lots of flirting, smiles, and _I believe in you_ ’s, but nothing more. Either way, Emu doesn’t want Kiriya to fall through his fingers again. He might anyway, but not without having an idea of how Emu felt. Still feels, because he never got the chance to mourn properly, in the end, with one disaster always following the next.

Kiriya doesn’t say anything, just tilts his head towards Emu’s and wraps his fingers around the back of Emu’s neck before pulling him in for a kiss. Their lips meeting is gentle and soft, and a relief Emu hasn’t known in a long, long time seeps into his veins.

Emu perseveres through the jolt of pain that strikes his head — a flash of television-like static, then of a memory that looks just the present unfolding before him — before their kiss escalates. Kiriya opens his mouth with his tongue, a warm palm still on the back of his neck, and lets Emu crawl into his lap, even though his legs are longer than Kiriya’s. Heat crawls over Emu's skin where Kiriya's hands move, and Emu grinds down into Kiriya’s lap while Kiriya kisses up his jaw. Emu tilts his head back and sighs, and he can feel Kiriya’s cock growing inside his jeans, hot and full enough that Emu can feel its size. He bites down a moan.

Kiriya pulls off him, but the feeling of hot, wet kisses lingers on Emu’s neck. “We don’t have —“

“It’ll be fine,” Emu assures him. “I. I think we’ve done this before. I feel it.”

Kiriya raises his brow. “What, here?”

It’s weird to think about, how he must be repeating all the same actions, but it doesn’t deter Emu any less. He wants this, has dreamed about it, might go as far as to say he needs it. Emu bites his lower lip, which must already be red and swollen from kissing, and nods.“Yeah. Do you want to…?”

“Of course. I’m all yours. Just say what it is you want from me, and I’ll give it to you.”

Emu hums to himself for a moment, feigning hesitance. “Is it okay if I suck you off?”

“‘Course, but, does that do anything for you? I want you to enjoy yourself, baby.”

Kiriya has always had a fondness for pet names, and it’s embarrassing, how much that pleases him, the way _ace_ and _baby_ make heat curl in his gut. “It does,” Emu assures him. “I really like doing it.”

“Don’t let me stop you, then.”

 _Good._ Emu slides down to his knees, hard and fast, enough so that the cart shakes with the force of it.

“Damn,” Kiriya chuckles, a hand in Emu’s hair already. “Gentleman in the streets and a freak in the sheets, huh?”

“Kiriya, please shut up,” Emu replies, annoyed but no less deterred. Emu places his hands on Kiriya thighs, feeling the hard muscle beneath the torn denim. Kiriya has nice, strong legs, and Emu plans to commit the feeling of them to memory.

“Mmm, sorry, babe.” He hasn’t even started, but Kiriya’s fingers already move pleasantly through his hair. Kiriya catches a stray lock of long hair and tucks it behind Emu’s ear for him. “Gotta wonder if you’re as talented at this as you are at games.”

A slight smirk curls Emu’s lip as he undoes Kiriya’s jeans. “I’ve been told that, yes.”

Kiriya’s size would intimidate anyone else, but it makes a thrill dance down Emu’s spine. The sight of it, even half-hard, makes the inside of his mouth wetter than it was a moment before. Emu has always loved challenges and this isn’t an exception.  

Kiriya rests his hand on Emu’s face, thumb rubbing over his cheek. Emu leans into the touch and looks back up at him. Kiriya’s eyes are dark and glittery. He is _really_ sexy. “You okay, baby?”

“Mmm,” Emu hums, before allowing his tongue to dart out and wet his lips. “More than. You have a really nice cock, Kiriya.”

That makes Kiriya laugh, makes him tilt his head back and show off the expanse of his neck that still has wet marks from where Emu kissed it. Emu doesn’t blame him for laughing. He’s been around enough times to know that people always have their assumptions about him, and that his particular set of kinks juxtaposes his sweet demeanor. Kiriya looks back down to where Emu is kneeled between his legs, and his smile is so _Kiriya_ and so bright it makes Emu’s heart hurt.

“Get to it, angel.”  

Emu nods, mouth set in a determined line before opening it. He leans forward, one hand on the thick base of Kiriya’s cock, the other on one of Kirya’s strong thighs. He touches the head with his tongue first, wraps it around, before taking it his mouth and letting his eyes flutter shut while sucking gently. Kiriya echoes Emu’s moan and the sound licks all of Emu’s insides with hot pleasure. Emu goes slow. He knows better than to try to take it all once. He makes sure Kiriya’s cock is generously wet, before running a tight fist around what can’t reach and bobbing his head along what he can, until his throat is relaxed enough to take him all the way.

“Holy shit,” Kiriya mutters, when the head of his cock hits the back of Emu’s throat. Emu responds with a moan that vibrates around Kiriya’s cock and makes Kiriya’s fingers tighten in Emu’s hair. _Good_. “Fuck, Emu.”

The encouragement and the endearments fall from Kiriya’s lips easily, but that doesn’t stop Emu from nearly shivering each time. This is a skill Emu has spent time perfecting like hundreds of games, so the praise is well-earned. That’s what Emu likes. More than he likes watching Kiriya’s cool composure melt away, he likes knowing that he’s good.

Kiriya’s hips stutter when he comes down the back of Emu’s throat. Emu savors the taste, doesn’t miss a single drop of cum, and it leaves his throat feeling raw and pleasantly warm afterwards.

The orgasm knocks the wind out of Kiriya, and Emu crawls back into the seat while Kiriya adjusts his pants. He lets himself melt bonelessly into him, tucks his head back into Kiriya’s shoulder while Kiriya’s arms come back around him, solid and safe. Once Kiriya’s breathing is back under control, he laughs and gives a low, impressed whistle that makes Emu giggle. Kiriya offers to return the favor, but Emu denies him. It’s enough, for the little time they have.

“I gotta say,” Kiriya says. “Never expected heaven after death, but this comes pretty close.”

Emu gives a weak laugh. “Thanks, Kiriya. I never really expected it to go this way, either, but I’m really glad... I just wish it didn’t have to happen this way.”

“Yeah, me too,” Kiriya agrees, before pressing a kiss to Emu’s forehead and squeezing his shoulder. “I’m just glad to know I wasn’t alone on the ride.”

Another wave of deja vu washes over Emu, a prickling sense of having been in this moment before. Like he knows what he needs to do, like he's had plenty of chances to say it. In this endless loop he’s stuck in, he's had the chance to tell Kiriya how he actually feels, but — it’s never ever gets easier, no matter how many times. Never feels any less cruel. 

Emu just stays, enjoying this seldom moment of rest, with his head tucked against Kiriya’s shoulder, and pretends for, just a moment, that the sunset will come.

**Author's Note:**

> wow i can't believe there was a tag for ferris wheel sex?? anyway, kujo kiriya and hojo emu invented romance. the title is from "i miss you" by blink 182 do not @ me. 
> 
> uh... emu fucks.


End file.
